Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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