you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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