Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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