You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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