On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize