i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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