I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need water and some morals
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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