Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
