After last night, I could never be a politician.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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