so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
