SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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