Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize