theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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