I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
