My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
