my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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