i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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