No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
