omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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