just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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