there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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