You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
