My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
