He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
