Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
