Plan B is the new Plan A
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
