please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
