is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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