I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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