Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
