am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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