he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
