What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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