going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You're like the curious george of whores
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize