I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
