Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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