I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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