And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
