I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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