Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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