How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize