Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
