i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
