Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
