i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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