this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
