U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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