And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
