so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
soo... how was my night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
