Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
