hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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