and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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