i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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