I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
