This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize