we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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