Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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