I am spending my child support on dildos
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
